What often happens when we start to identify and lean into our dreams is that our ego wants to keep us safe and the it shows up in the form of limiting beliefs. Our mind starts telling us why our dreams can’t happen before we even start. This can happen so quickly, and often times in such a clever way, that you aren’t even aware of it. This is why coaching is so valuable, because you have a neutral party listening and catching your sneaky ego.
How to identify your limiting beliefs:
Limiting beliefs often pop up when we start to desire, dream, and create ideal visions of what we want. This is what happened when my new client Susan started to dream of being a fine artist showcased in a gallery. Her mind quickly jumped in and said, but you don’t want to have to work with other fine artists and gallery owners because it is a superficial scene. I paused and took Susan through a limiting belief exercise.
The limiting beliefs and judgments we uncovered for Susan was that there are no art galleries that are humble and down to earth, that the people in the art gallery world are superficial, and she didn't want to be a part of that world, an we uncovered an even deeper (old) belief that people aren't making money doing fine art.
It's not that those things are true and that's what stops us, its the belief that stops us from envisioning what we truly desire. So we want to go in an discover, forgive, and reframe the beliefs.
How to move through limiting beliefs to your new truth:
1. List out your judgments (of self, others, the world, God, how things operate), and old beliefs (I can't have it all, it has to be hard, I don't know how to do it...) in the left-hand column.
2. List out your self-forgiveness in the second column next to the judgment or old belief. Self-forgiveness can be done by looking at yourself in the mirror, holding your hand to your heart and the other to your belly and truly connecting with the forgiving energy. It will sound like this, "I forgive myself for buying into the belief that..." or "I forgive myself for judging myself as..." or "I forgive myself for judging x as..." Say these out loud and until you notice an emotional shift.
3. In the third column, you will reframe the new truth. You'll update the belief. You'll eventually be able to turn these into your new mantras.
If you want to do a longer process for releasing old beliefs and opening to new ones:
1. Follow step # 1 above.
2. Then ask yourself, how do you feel when you think that thought?
3. Then ask when did you feel that same way in the past?
4. Then go through all of the times you can remember feeling that same way. You'll want to sit down with all of those times separately. Tell that part of you that you see how hard that way, that you are sorry they went through that experience, you know they came up with that belief as a way to stay safe, tell that part of you that you love it, tell that part of you that you know it did its best.
5. Then you will do self-forgiveness from that place. What you are forgiving is not what happened, but for buying into that belief that doesn’t serve you anymore, for judging yourself as…, for buying into the belief that… When we forgive, we love. When we love, we heal. When we heal, we can create new beliefs.
6. Then you will create the new truth, what you want to believe now and moving forward.
7. Then you will ask yourself, who would I be without that old thought? What would I be doing? What would I be saying? How would I get to be with myself?
Once you go through the 7 Step process, you will be able to choose and lean into the new belief, the new operating system, because a part of you will see how painful the old belief is, how it might not even be true, how the part of you that created that belief did so to survive and do their best, and most likely you'll feel more inclined to step into the new belief.
Note: When you choose the new belief, this is when magic starts happening. So be ready!
With love, Gwen