The "I Am Upset Because..." Process

A common theme I’ve been seeing in sessions is processing the things that trigger us and make us upset. I welcome all of these things.


Because using what disturbs your peace, what you get triggered by, or what you are fearful of, becomes your biggest spiritual teacher and your greatest source of love.

Your triggers are the debris that clog up your spiritual and human pipes. It is what creates stagnation. So, what we want to do is clean out the pipe with awareness, forgiveness, so the truth can flow through.

Use all of your upsets to heal, grow, and evolve. Keep in mind the work is never done. When we resolve bigger issues, then its usually the minutia that teaches us.

What are common sources of an upset?

  • An email makes you feel angry

  • A conversation brings up guilt or shame

  • A situation leaves you feeling upset

  • A person that doesn't listen or show up

Let's work with one situation, or person, or event. Yes, that situation that you are thinking of, the one that feels unbearable to consider.

1. Ask yourself.

  1. What are the judgments about the person, place or thing?

  2. What are the beliefs about the person, place, or thing?  

  3. What emotions is that creating inside of you?

2. Apply self-forgiveness.

  • Go through each of the judgments, beliefs, stories and forgive yourself for each one.

  • I forgive myself for buying into the belief that...

  • I forgive myself for judging myself or the other as...

3. State the new truth.

  • I am no longer available for...

  • Because the truth is...

I hope this process is helpful. Share your questions in the comments below!