This post is for those out there who are struggling. Please remember that no one ever has it together all the time - not even me, "the coach", despite what the photos or social media feeds say, or whatever stories you might make up about me. When we are in a human body and a human life, it's normal to have moments of struggle. It's okay to struggle. And it's possible to find your way out of the struggle. Trust me - I know.
I've struggled within my marriage at times, feeling disconnected and unsure of how we will come back to one another. I've struggled with being a single parent, a blended family parent, and a co-parent with custody issues and wanting what's best for my child. I've struggled with several auto immune diseases throughout my life and deeply desiring health and well-being. I've struggled with professional risks and leaps because I need to be an equal contributor to my family.
And despite these struggles, I've always found a way through to the other side.
1. Have people who love and support you.
This can come in the form of friends, family, therapists, coaches, mentors, healers, or even strangers from religious or non-religious groups. Make sure you surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally, remind you of your intention, and that this will pass. Ask them for their support. Don't take it personally if they don't have the emotional ability or physical space to give you what you need at the time you need it. Move forward and find someone who does - even if you have to pay for it.
2. Find supportive ways to process what's happening inside of you
Along with finding gentle support, discern and steer clear of things that you know don't support you. It's taken some experimentation for me to discover my sweet spot of what that means for me, and new ways are always evolving. Things that are not good for me personally when I'm down (even if they taste oh so good) - checking out with abrasive television or toxic movies, harsh or depressing music, sugar and processed foods, too much time alone, over scheduling my days. Things that are good for me when I'm good, and even better when I'm not so good - prayer and meditation, booking appointments with my healers, exercising, spending time in nature, attending my moon circles, writing daily, Breathwork, uplifting and calm music, healthy food, creating space in my calendar. When you are struggling, doing self supporting activities is even more important than when you are feeling on top.
3. Ask - What am I meant to learn?
Asking this question serves two purposes. First, it gives the struggle a greater purpose. Second, it allows you to be an owner (versus a victim). When you have greater purpose to your struggle it inspires you to find a way to the other side. Because once you are on the other side of it, you will be able to share your experience, strength and hope with someone else who is struggling.
When I ask myself what I am meant to learn, it allows me to own the experience, be an empowered part of the resolution, versus being a victim. I am almost always able to see the learning. And most of the time, whatever I've struggled with and overcome, I get to share my experience, strength and hope with another person who is struggling.
4. Be vigilant with your mind
When I reflect on my life, and the clients I've coached, the only way to move through struggle is to be vigilant with your mind. Your mind will attempt to tell you all kinds of stories. Its important to keep your mind strong and keep it fed with healthy thoughts.
5. Make a commitment
When you make a commitment to achieve something no matter what, whatever struggles or obstacles you face are just bumps along the journey. When you get clear on your commitments, everything becomes more graceful.
Don't fret - struggle is part of the path. What matters most is that you have a clear commitment, keep your mind healthy, shower yourself with loving friends and support systems and remember to ask yourself the deeper question - why are you experiencing this particular struggle and what is your soul wanting you to learn.